38 weeks and 4 days. I am literally a ticking time bomb to birth our fifth child. Each night when I go to bed, I wonder if I will wake up in labor in the middle of the night. Each morning when I wake up I wonder, “Is this the day?”
The last month of pregnancy is an interesting time. I’ve written before about waiting for the uncertain certain in the final weeks of pregnancy and the spiritual parallels to be found there. While my heart is still wrestling with a certain level of the usual final-weeks antsyness, I can see how God has grown me since my last pregnancy. My heart is more at rest. More content. More at peace. Still anticipating expectantly but with less angst.
While my heart still needs all the reminders in that post, this time around I am struck by another spiritual parallel: preparatory waiting. Perhaps that shows the change in the posture of my heart: instead of being filled with grumpy, anxious anticipation as I await the arrival of our sweet gift, I am filled with a sense of intentional, purposeful, preparatory waiting.
- When I cook a meal, I make double and freeze the extras to feed my family after the baby comes.
- I am trying to stay consistent with my laundry schedule and our daily chores.
- I am taking advantage of beautiful weather to enjoy being outside with my kids and husband and finding ways to fill up their love tanks before my attention is divided among another child.
- I am trying to make the most of opportunities for discipleship conversations and one-on-one moments with each child, knowing that my availability and mental state will look different in the weeks to come.
- I am seeking to stay on top of my Bible study and prayer life so that my heart is in the best place it can be for the physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding season that is to come.
- I am staying physically active with my workouts, playing outside with the kids, and walks to give my body the best possible labor and recovery.
The list goes on. The major essential preparations of nursery, baby items, hospital bags, kids’ schoolwork lists, etc. are finished, so in one sense, I can rest. If I go into labor right this second, all will be well.
Yet in another sense, each day I must make the choice to not wait idly but intentionally, taking care of the things that need to be taken care of, pouring into the things that need to be poured into, nurturing the things that need to be nurtured. If I just sit idly until she comes, the laundry will pile up, the dust will accumulate, the children will be wanting. I don’t want to be caught with an empty fridge, a messy house, overflowing baskets of laundry, an out-of-shape body, or a neglected family or heart. I want myself and my household to be ready.
This sense of preparatory waiting gives purpose, meaning, and joy to each day, even though I am simultaneously more than ready for today to be the day we meet our daughter.
Friends, isn’t this how Jesus means for us to live each day of our lives, knowing that at any moment, He might return? Knowing that He has already completed the ultimate essential work of our salvation and righteousness, therefore we can live purposefully and meaningfully from a place of rest, But also knowing that daily there is work to be done in our hearts, in our lives, and in the people around us.
If I am honest, I live many of my days lazily and idly.
That can wait until tomorrow.
I can pray for that later.
I can have that gospel conversation next time.
I can send that text to see how ____ is doing and encourage them another day.
I can hold out another day before my soul needs refreshment from God’s Word.
That heart issue…I’ll deal with that later. It can stick around for a while longer.
I can put off asking forgiveness and seeking reconciliation with _______.
Jesus speaks to this multiple times, telling five different parables about this state of preparatory waiting for His return.
- Parable of the absent master and the entrusted servants: Mark 13:33-37
- Parable of the homeowner and the thief: Matthew 24:43-44
- Parable of the good and wicked servants: Matthew 24:45-51
- Parable of the ten virgins: Matthew 25:1-13
- Parable of the talents: Matthew 25:14-30
Jesus concludes His parables with exhortations: Stay awake. Be ready. Watch. Be faithful. His point is the same in each of them: we are to await His return diligently, faithfully, expectantly, and purposefully, using all that He has given us for His Kingdom purposes.
I don’t want to be caught off guard with a mess of sin hanging out in my heart and life. With a heart that’s running on empty and spiritually out of shape. With people I love never having heard the wonderful news of the gospel. With opportunities missed to build up and edify my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want myself, my household, my family, my church family, and those I love to be ready. I want to live in a state of restful, intentional, purposeful preparatory waiting.
For just as I do not know the day and hour when this baby will come, neither do I know the day and hour when my Savior will return.
But oh what a glorious day it will be!