Mt. Rainier over Seattle Washington Britney Lyn Hamm

Perspective Comes

Original poem by Britney Lyn Hamm. All rights reserved. No part of this poem may be shared without attribution or reproduced without written consent.

I wish I could remember when I first wrote this poem  – what was happening in life, what prompted it. Truly, I have no idea. I found it in a file entitled “Writing” on my computer. It could be two years old or ten; I don’t know. What I do know is that these words could be my morning prayer every day, for they well describe the longings of my heart and the daily battles against the enemy’s lies.

Perspective Comes

I come before you, God my God,

To offer you this day

My simple prayer of offering

Becomes a desperate cry

 

All the world, it falls away

To it I’m all but blind

Perspective dawns and points me home

My worries, they unwind

 

This life that I’ve been living

What is it worth at all?

If bound in useless strangling lies

If freedom they demise

 

 

I’m weary of living for the world

Its standards measuring me

My simple prayer of offering

Becomes a desperate cry

 

Perspective hits and shows me home

For all this world’s a stage

Beseeching, falling, here I am

Bind my heart to Yours

 

Have all this world but I am Yours

Surrendered to your throne

Perspective comes and leads me home

His name is Adonai

 

*Photo taken by yours truly in Seattle, WA, October 2015

Britney Lyn Hamm A Distant Music Home

A Distant Music: Part IV

Britney Lyn Hamm Author A Distant MusicIV. HOME

I poured my body over His
My ribs, they wracked with grief
Why had He come only to die,
How could this be the end?
If death had won what was the point?
The other path it beckoned me
Perhaps the wrong road had I chosen
Perhaps it was time to see

My shoulder felt a gentle touch
I whirled around in disbelief
For there He stood alive and well
I stared at Him confused
Then saw the body I had held
Was nowhere to be found
Only a pile of white clothes
Folded there remained

“Now, my child, now you see
It’s finished and it’s done
The power of sin is broken
Death, it has no reign
All your travels from then to now
They’ve all led you to me
I’m the thing you’re looking for
Your search can end with me.”

His hand he held for me to hold
I placed my hand in His
And felt the holes still in his palms
To show He was my Lord
The music it began to play
Grew louder, louder still
When streets of gold we came upon
I knew at last; I’m home.

 

Happy Easter!

A Distant Music: Part III

A Distant Music Britney Lyn Hamm Sunrise

III. DEATH

He brought me to my feet
And lifted his shirt high
He placed my hand upon his side
I jerked back with a cry
Tears they brimmed my stricken eyes
He smiled and wiped my tear
“See my child,” he whispered,
“It’s by these stripes you’re healed.”
Without control my tears poured down
As if heaven itself had rained
In shock I watched as his robe changed
Turned red in deepest stain
He lifted his arms to his side
Red dripping to the ground
Forward I rushed
Desperate to stop the blood.

“It’s done,” he cried in great relief
I followed his gaze down
My ashen clothes had turned to white
The stains of sin no more
Anew I wept with tears of joy
Then halted suddenly
For if my sin had taken he
What happened to my lord?

Before me was a crumpled pile
His body sickeningly still
The blood had stopped its gushing flow
From the now-dry wounds he bore
I realized that the music stopped
As if this were the end
I wept, “Return to me, my Lord,”
But nothing answered back.

A Distant Music: Part II

II. ENCOUNTER

Then on that path I stumbled low
And fell face to the ground
That voice grew louder, closer still
I trembled in prostrate bow
A gentle hand reached out to me
And lifted my chin high
And what I saw did not expect
Filled was I with bewildered awe

I saw a face soft and worn
A smile gentle and kind
But his eyes intrigued me most of all
Their knowing intent stare
I dropped my head back to the ground
Full of disparaging shame
For I felt unworthy and full of filth
Yet I knew not even his name

His knees dipped low to the ground
His eyes they bore on mine
He whispered, “I have taken your sin;
There is no place for shame
I am the Shepherd, I am the Vine,
I am who I am,
“Come my child,’ he beckoned me,
“Your soul is finally free.”

Still in disbelief I knelt
Unwilling to believe
My shame, my sin, could they be gone?
If so, how could it be?
The music it grew louder still
So glorious a sound
As if a heavenly host were near
Yet he was the only one around

A Distant Music: Part I

 

I began writing this story poem several years ago.  Easter week seems an appropriate time to finish writing it as I reflect on the meaning of this week. I pray that reading it in each installment blesses you as much as writing it has blessed me – and don’t judge; I’m a novelist, not a poet!

I. SEARCH

I came upon a beckoning path
With treacherous twist and wind
Its narrow rocky appearance
Seemed anything but sublime
Though instinct told me “step right past
And do not look behind”
Something pulled me deep within
To see what I might find

Down that path the wind it blew
Whis’pring me to come
A distant music sounded too
Lilting flute, entrancing hum
My path till now was safe I knew
Filled with indulgment and ease
But some vast longing deep within
It hardly did appease

One step I took to seal my fate
No turning back remained
For once I chose the beckoning path
Enraptured I became
That gentle music was my guide
As I stumbled on my way
My heart beat a fiercesome storm
Yet strange peace rendered it tame

Each step I took I felt a change
Drawn to this unseen end
I was alone yet felt no fear
As the path did twist and bend
A deep pure voice joined the flute
And it too became my guide
And the voice just drew me on and on
Powerless was I to hide

Can I just stay?

Oh, Abba,

Can I just stay here in your arms? Here with you in the shelter of your wings?

Can I just hold on to you with my face buried against you to hide my tears?

Can I just stay up here and hide away with you in the Word and prayer and song?

There I feel so safe, so healed, so loved…then I step out and must face it all again.

Your arms are the haven I need to hold me still, to grip me in your grace when all else seems to fade.

I just want to stay here curled up at your feet, drinking in your presence and feeling your heartbeat

Let out a sigh and release it all to you, let your peace wash over me in that overwhelming way

I don’t ever want to leave this place, your love is so deep, so boundless and so free

It leaves me here in tears of joy and awe and love and peace

 

Can I just stay here? Can I just lay back against you and breathe?

Can I just spend all my hours like the four today with only you and me?

In those hours in that place you held me close and near

You bound my wandering heart and moved my soul to tears

I came crushed and broken and in desperate need of you

My heart had wandered, God it had, ashamed I say it’s true

But All my hurts and pains I placed into your  healing hands

And confessed my sin in heartfelt prayer so before you I can stand

 

So can I just stay? Can I stay where my heart finds its way back to you?

Can I just stay and soak up your light? Can I just hide away in this refuge?

Can I just hold onto you forever and not move?

Can I just be a little child helplessly clinging to the Father’s arms?

 

Oh, but I am hard pressed on every side, but not crushed

I am perplexed but not in despair; I am persecuted but not abandoned

I am struck down, but not destroyed

I am not burned or overcome by the waves, for you called me by name and I’m yours

Your joy will be my strength; your mercies are new every morning

Therefore I will not lose heart, though the army besieges me

You are with me; I am not alone

 

I will step out, holding your hand and press on, press on toward what You’ve called me

Face the world and the people and the pain and the things I don’t understand

For you are with me, your right hand will guide me; hold me fast

Therefore I will hope in you, you who never lets go, you who loves me with an everlasting love.

I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from?

Oh, how I need you Lord, my only hope.

Can I just stay?

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”” (Lamentations 3:19-24)

 

 

 

 

Take it all I’m letting go

Forgive me, Lord, for the things in this world

I’ve put security in

Forgive me, Lord for the things I’ve held on to

Unwilling to let go

Forgive me, Lord, for the things in my heart

I’ve been so blind to

Forgive me, Lord, for the things in my life

I’ve taken control of

 

Lord I’m on my knees, I can’t do it anymore

These reins are too much for me to bear

I mess it up when I’ve got control

Lord I’m on my knees, broken and ashamed

Here once more, messed up again

Distressed and weeping at your throne

 

Take it all, I’m letting go

I don’t want it anymore

I’ve held on far too long

I’m letting go of everything

‘Cuz without you everything is nothing

But with you nothing is everything

And I’d take nothing any day

As long as I have you

 

Though ashamed my head bows at your feet

You calmly lift my eyes to your own

Your love it breaks me, so redeeming, so deep

Though unworthy I feel to stand before you

You unhesitantly draw me into your arms

Your grace it amazes me, so saving, so vast

 

How could I live for anything but this?

There’s pain in this laying down of self

It makes me see how wrong I’ve been

But there’s more beauty than pain in the offering

For your blood covers me

And your joy strengthens me

 

When I lift my eyes up to your throne

Nothing else can I see, your glory’s too great

To take up your cross I have to lay it all down

I can’t carry both at the same time

But I’ve seen how empty all the other stuff is

Not carrying your cross leaves no reason to live

But with death to self greater life is found

I want to take up your cross and never put it down,

 

So

Take it all, I’m letting go

I don’t want it anymore

I’ve held on far too long

I’m letting go of everything

‘Cuz without you everything is nothing

But with you nothing is everything

And I’d take nothing any day

As long as I have you